Today I picked up one of the many books in my office that probably belongs to Lou Radja! The book is “Emotional Intelligence” by Dr. David Walton.
The first chapter is on self-knowledge. Understanding yourself is the starting point for emotional intelligence. It’s about understanding ourselves and know what pushes us and why.
Our past and self-image play a large part in how we choose to interpret other people’s behavior and it also determines the way we act and the effect we have on others.
I love when I read information and it clicks with me but it’s even better when someone gives me practical things I can do to implement that information. Dr. Walton gave some tips on how to strengthen your self-image:
1) STOP comparing yourself to other people.
2) Don’t put yourself down.
3) Get into the habit of thinking and saying positive things about YOU to yourself.
4) Accept compliments. (Don’t downplay them!)
5) Use self-help books to websites to help you change your beliefs.
6) Spend time with positive, supportive people. (I personally think this is the MOST CRITICAL thing you can do. This changed my life for the better. I decided many years ago that I didn’t want to be an angry person anymore and so I surrounded myself with non-angry, positive and loving people. My life changed almost overnight.)
7) Acknowledge your positive qualities and things you are good at. (I’d even go further…also ask people around you and write them down. People closest to you are able to see things in you that you might never see on your own.)
8) Be assertive. Don’t allow people to treat you with a lack of respect. (This is another area I’ve been working on in my life is to have better boundaries. Your relationships will be better if you can define good boundaries.)
9) Be helpful and considerate to others.
10) Engage in work and hobbies that you enjoy.
He also adds that when your self-image comes from your core beliefs about your value as a person. If you want to increase your emotional intelligence, you need to challenge and change your negative beliefs. #preach